My heart aches for you. I lost my first husband over 14 years ago, when I was only 42. Yes, it gets better but grief is a hard emotion to get through. I’ve recently heard grief described like waves. Initially the waves are very high and come close together. Over time they get lower and further apart – easier to cope with. Keep a journal. It will give your grief an outlet and months from now you can read it and see how far you’ve gone through the grief journey. Take care.
Thank you, Amy. I have now heard grief described in waves from many sources and I am experiencing just that. A bit over the shock of it all, I am now working on getting past the horrible last months of his life so I can focus on our 35 year marriage and remember the healthy, happy, good times. I know all of this takes time. I am beginning also to ask myself questions. Again, likely time will answer them, too. I am patient with the known but not so much with the unknown, so I guess I need to keep myself in check. Thank you again for your words and am hoping you have found yourself some solace, happiness, and life after your very sad event.
Holly ….. trust the battle is now over. So sorry for your loss. May your memories bring you comfort and peace. Thinking of you with caring thoughts. Karen C.
well, Karen the battle was lost with hubby however he is finally resting in peace. The battle is just beginning to reshape my life. I have many blessings so should have the skills and energy to do so, just will take some time. Thank you for your kind words of condolences.
yes, for now Sarah, it is pretty bleak around here. I am young and retired, secure in myself, have a roof over my head (that is now officially done being paid) so there are many blessings. I am currently making sure my own health is on track physically and then there will be a long road ahead emotionally speaking. Thank you for recognizing this grief and hopefully my posts will be taking a turn to the happier soon.
Glad you are safe and housed. I know you have warm clothing. But I don’t think you should worry about being happy in your posts – just be honest, and don’t pressure yourself. No timetable here.
haha Yes, warm clothing. I will share with you that my house is old . . . about 90 years old complete with a hat closet next to the front hall vestibule. Hats like brimmed hats but I’ve just noticed with movable shelving . . . well, it is now an amazing closet for the bulky outerwear sweaters. Thinking very seriously about taking the closet door off because to me, even folded knitwear is beautiful. Like yarn balls or spinning or flax or sheep . . . well, you get the picture. The sadness comes and goes . . . chaplain said grief works that way.
Wow, that is a wonderful feature, built in cupboards like that! Certainly your folded knitwear is beautiful, all those colors! Try it and see if you like it. You can always put it back if you change your mind.
Thinking’ I’m liking the closet; so much the door has been removed. Now, it looks like a fun little addition to the living room. While my knitting needles remain dusty, I recently picked up a crochet hook and some scrap bulky. A basket for my knitting project perhaps?
Dear Holly, as I looked through your gallery, like Nancy, I was so glad that you have all these people in your life. There is so much love in those photos. I think of you often and send good thoughts your way. I’m not in a position to offer advice, but what I tell myself when I feel utterly daunted is: all I need to do is put one foot in front of another, take each day as it comes, and eventually I will find my self and my life in a new and better place. So far, that has worked for me. I hope you can be very kind to yourself just now. Much love to you, Christine
Oh, Christine . . . your words are just so kind. It helps to keep busy and for me it is also helping to find new adventures. So, for now the knitting needles and the running shoes are dusty as I re-orient myself to life and its possibilities. I am sure if I find something that works for me, I’ll be writing about it here. Thank you for sticking around, feeling my loss from across the pond, and for your words of wisdom.
Thank you, Nancy. Now becomes the great task of finding happiness, again. Moving forward while hanging on to the memories of 35 years of marriage seems, at this moment, a monumental goal.
Hollyknits 
My heart aches for you. I lost my first husband over 14 years ago, when I was only 42. Yes, it gets better but grief is a hard emotion to get through. I’ve recently heard grief described like waves. Initially the waves are very high and come close together. Over time they get lower and further apart – easier to cope with. Keep a journal. It will give your grief an outlet and months from now you can read it and see how far you’ve gone through the grief journey. Take care.
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Thank you, Amy. I have now heard grief described in waves from many sources and I am experiencing just that. A bit over the shock of it all, I am now working on getting past the horrible last months of his life so I can focus on our 35 year marriage and remember the healthy, happy, good times. I know all of this takes time. I am beginning also to ask myself questions. Again, likely time will answer them, too. I am patient with the known but not so much with the unknown, so I guess I need to keep myself in check. Thank you again for your words and am hoping you have found yourself some solace, happiness, and life after your very sad event.
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Holly ….. trust the battle is now over. So sorry for your loss. May your memories bring you comfort and peace. Thinking of you with caring thoughts. Karen C.
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well, Karen the battle was lost with hubby however he is finally resting in peace. The battle is just beginning to reshape my life. I have many blessings so should have the skills and energy to do so, just will take some time. Thank you for your kind words of condolences.
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Oh, Holly. Words fail me.
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yes, for now Sarah, it is pretty bleak around here. I am young and retired, secure in myself, have a roof over my head (that is now officially done being paid) so there are many blessings. I am currently making sure my own health is on track physically and then there will be a long road ahead emotionally speaking. Thank you for recognizing this grief and hopefully my posts will be taking a turn to the happier soon.
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Glad you are safe and housed. I know you have warm clothing. But I don’t think you should worry about being happy in your posts – just be honest, and don’t pressure yourself. No timetable here.
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haha Yes, warm clothing. I will share with you that my house is old . . . about 90 years old complete with a hat closet next to the front hall vestibule. Hats like brimmed hats but I’ve just noticed with movable shelving . . . well, it is now an amazing closet for the bulky outerwear sweaters. Thinking very seriously about taking the closet door off because to me, even folded knitwear is beautiful. Like yarn balls or spinning or flax or sheep . . . well, you get the picture. The sadness comes and goes . . . chaplain said grief works that way.
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Wow, that is a wonderful feature, built in cupboards like that! Certainly your folded knitwear is beautiful, all those colors! Try it and see if you like it. You can always put it back if you change your mind.
Listen to the chaplain, he or she is very wise.
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Thinking’ I’m liking the closet; so much the door has been removed. Now, it looks like a fun little addition to the living room. While my knitting needles remain dusty, I recently picked up a crochet hook and some scrap bulky. A basket for my knitting project perhaps?
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A good idea – work into it gradually! I am glad the cupboard worked as you had hoped. 😉
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Dear Holly, as I looked through your gallery, like Nancy, I was so glad that you have all these people in your life. There is so much love in those photos. I think of you often and send good thoughts your way. I’m not in a position to offer advice, but what I tell myself when I feel utterly daunted is: all I need to do is put one foot in front of another, take each day as it comes, and eventually I will find my self and my life in a new and better place. So far, that has worked for me. I hope you can be very kind to yourself just now. Much love to you, Christine
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Oh, Christine . . . your words are just so kind. It helps to keep busy and for me it is also helping to find new adventures. So, for now the knitting needles and the running shoes are dusty as I re-orient myself to life and its possibilities. I am sure if I find something that works for me, I’ll be writing about it here. Thank you for sticking around, feeling my loss from across the pond, and for your words of wisdom.
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I am grateful for all the people in your life who love you.
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Thank you, Nancy. Now becomes the great task of finding happiness, again. Moving forward while hanging on to the memories of 35 years of marriage seems, at this moment, a monumental goal.
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